We have both done something to irk the other, often times little things, but we are often quick to forgive each other. Holding onto a hurt and bringing up past hurts is a marriage buster for sure. Having a right definition of forgiveness is helpful as well as forgiveness is often thought of as accepting the person’s behavior. This is not a helpful definition for forgiveness. Try this definition: Choosing not to hold resentment against someone who has wronged me.
Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting, but releases us from the pain we hold onto which can lead to many physical complications as our bodies run in a heightened sense of alertness. Find out more from this CNN article.
Make goals together
When we have made goals, it gives us a reason to work together. Whether these goals have been educational or financial, having a plan that both of us have agreed to helps us face difficult work schedules with better attitudes. Writing these goals down and making them specific serve as a powerful reminder of why you both are doing what you do. This is especially true when one partner is traveling or working more to make financial goals possible, and "togetherness" time is lacking. Those goals can help alleviate the frustrations and stress that accompany long periods apart.
Doing things together we both enjoy
There is the saying that “couples that _______ together, stay together” filling in the blank with various choices. I would add that doing things together that one of you enjoys helps to build those bonds. Doing things together that you both enjoy and have fun doing will be helpful as well. This article points to some research that when couples do things together that both enjoy, more positive bonds are created and shared for a happier marriage and relationship. If you are stagnant in your relationship, think of things you enjoyed when you first started dating, or find some new ideas here.
I am thankful for my wife for allowing me to grow as a person. I would not be this far along in my career or life situation without her. I was fairly lazy and unmotivated to do much with my life and I have found new life with this woman that I love. I hope you are having similar experiences. If not, talk with a trusted friend who can speak truth into your life. If you need tools, find a counseling professional who can help you both along. I can help connect you to one of these professionals in the Denver metro area if working with me is not a good fit.